NeverAlways Attack the Face
by arsenicturntech
Summary: Tugger is watching the junkyard and thinking about getting a mate, when two more cats walk in. How will Tugger get his queen? -rumpletugger & hinted mistojerrie-i love love LOVE midnight crack pairings. WARNING!ThisIsHorrible


neko-chan: Over the previous month I've seen several occasions in the media of attacks to the face bringing people together and thought it would be a good story. Then I remembered how I could never think of a plot for CATS

Tugger's DISCLAIMER for neko-chan: She does NOT own CATS, Andrew Lloyd Webber does...

NC-maybe one day I shall -evil thoughts-

Tugger- Heaviside save us when that day comes

NC- Tugger's POV, kay?, ps-for this particular story and maybe others to come an arguable pair will be siblings instead of my preferred lovers. Also, they are in Misto's age grouping :3

Never(Always) Attack the Face

The Kitten Klub was out and about that fateful day. The day I was attacked, though this is a bit later. I threw them a couple of smirks and a thrust here and there, anything to excite them. Now, I know it seems like I love to watch all the queens squirm with delight from my attention but I-well I actually do, but not like the Klub does. A change would be nice though. I would love to find just one queen who doesn't get over excited at the sight of me. Besides Demeter I mean. Just as I was musing on such thoughts, Mungojerrie and his sister strolled in. I watched as they departed and Mungo went to Quaxo's den. My eyes roamed back to the Klub and I saw an extra in the group, Rumpleteazer. I pounced off my pedestal and landing impressively in front of Etcetera, who squealed in so much utter delight that I had to silence her myself. I glowed as all the (Klub) kittens gathered around me in awe, all except one striped queen. I stopped thrusting my wonderfulness and trotted the very few paces in between us. I opened my mouth to speak as soon as Rumpleteazer looked up at me, but I was interrupted.

"Tugger, come and play with us, pleaaseah," Jemima begged as the others were helping Etcetera recover once more. I craned my neck to turn her down nicely, but heard Rumpleteazer's paw-steps hurridly making their way elsewhere.

"Of course," I gave Jemima a patent smile and walked away with my under-aged, over-eccentric harem.

A few weeks later, the twins had returned. I watched with interest as Mungojerrie made his back to Misto's second(more like first) home, ad Rumple went to the group of kittens. I went silently to a place to hear what the young queens were discussing.

"Why don't you ever stay long enough to play with us and Tuggy?" Electra asked the ever intriguing cat.

"OI- oi just don't, kay?" she responded in her cockney accent. She looked as if she had a secret.

"But he's so fun and beautiful," Jemima complimented.

"And sexy," Etcetera added. Just as I was stroking my ego, it was hurt.

"He's not as nice as Plato though," this came from the not-to-helpful Victoria.

"Course you'd say that Vicky," Jemima poked the white kitten, starting a match of fake clawing and pawing. I sat down and watched the Kitten Klub, plus one Rumpleteazer, play in the way only young cats truly do. I took special care in watching Rumpleteazer. She skillfully dodged all the kittens and looked like a striped blur. Someone was soon in my way and before I knew it, the striped blur as airborne in my direction. She waved her paws in panic as she saw where she would be landing, and of course I was too shocked to move. Before you could say "The Rum Tum Tugger is the sexxiest beast" my face was being violated. Rumpleteazer quickly jumped back and looked worried, and maybe even, scared?

"Oh, oi'm sorry. Tugger, oh, please, don't be angry with me," she pleaded. The Klub was soon at my side with worried looks as well, but I nudged them back.

"It's fine, nothing to worry about," I reassured everyone, being only the kittens as everyone else seemed to be stuck in their human homes recently. Their eyes all widened as I felt the fur under my nose wetten. I put my paw to it and pulled it back to find it darker. Oh great, I'm bleeding now. Before anyone could panic, besides Etcetera who fainted before Rumple had hit me, I asked, "Could someone get me some ice?" The Klub scurried away to find ice, did they even know what that was? Rumpleteazer was still standing, stunned. I looked at her, giving as seducing glance as I possibly could with a bloody nose. "You know, this may cost you though."

"What do you want?" she managed with the coolness that regularly defined her, after she shook herself back to reality. Which was lost once more after I closed the gap between us and licked her cheek. Before she could react, Mungojerrie walked out of Quaxo's den once more.

"Ya ready ta go?" he asked, walking towards the exit but looking back at his about-a-minute-younger sister. As soon as she came to again, she nodded and scampered after her brother, never looking back. As I watched the queen-I-would-soon-make-mine walk out again, the Klub, excluding one coming-to Etcetera, enter with a pack of ice.

Later that night, as I lay on my back to look at the brightly glowing stars, I heard movement near me. Before I could do more than sit up, something had flown at my face...again. This time, however, it had been to the perfect timing of one striped, cockney queen, and my nose was not broken, but licked. After a short, though hurried, explaination/confession from both parties, I found myself curled around the one who is not in awe over my thrusts and ability to land awesomely or my wonderful looks, but the felinity underneath it all that no other had been able to see, especially after she broke my nose.

NC- awwwwwww...sho shweet. I think this pairing was nice. Eventually I'll have some mungo/rumple out, or explain the whole mungo in misto's den...after I get full understanding of how to type out the accent, which is why Rumpleteazer didn't talk to much in this one. Rates, Reviews, Flames, Critics, the whole package loves.

:3 neko-chan


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